Where does Reality fit in yoga?

I read that article yesterday about the New Age guru who is on trial for 3 counts of manslaughter after 3 participants in his sweat lodge ceremony died from exposure and heat exhaustion. I can't stop thinking about it. The article was a perfect snapshot of spirituality in the United States. It's made up, day to day, with the common thread being America's current motto in all things holy: Whatever Works (read: whatever sells). It's not about seeking to understand the great mystery, or even just learning to be with the great mystery, knowing we most likely can't understand it. It's about placating people and telling them anything we can think of to ease their fears. And the money? Like taking candy from a baby. Dude, Reality is so yesterday.

What happens when 'teachers' act as if there is no underlying reality and just make shit up day after day, with the benchmark for the quality of their bs being whether it sells or not? This: some people will find this squishy logic very appealing, and some will pay lots of money to get teachers to answer their spiritual questions in such a way that the paying customer always comes out looking good. If the 'student' (read, client) is rich, they want to hear that they deserve it, karmically speaking, and should not waste time thinking about those less fortunate, who obviously need to take responsibility for their own bad karma (and pay to learn how to rectify their cosmic profile. Everyone should be rich once their karma is in order. Never mind that the 'teacher' probably doesn't understand karma in the first place). If they're poor, they want to hear they're on the verge of fixing that - they just need to pay the 'teacher' to bring out their inherent self worth, which will result in the world upping their net worth (for how could it not be so?). Don't bother reminding them that a majority of the greatest human beings have been, and continue to be, poor. Oh Amy don't be such a zero-sum pessimist! My wealth has nothing to do with anyone else's poverty! Never mind the fact that the world financial crisis is proving zero-sum pessimism is pretty right on. It turns out that if certain people and/or groups continue to get richer and richer, that wealth actually did come out of someone else's pockets! Stating the obvious? Not in this country, my friend.

In order to achieve your karmic makeover they will offer to: change your Akashic record, take you into past lives, cleanse your colon, excessively purify you of toxins that they mainly can't name, up your metabolic rate with intensive yoga practice (because clearly asana is the path to self worth - once you're hot, your worth goes up), send your nervous system into outer space with kundalini yoga just to prove they can, aromatherapize you, teach you the 7 habits of highly successful people, the four agreements, the secret, the 10th insight, the seven levels of hell, the 7 laws of happiness, 108,000 sun salutations... I sometimes imagine what it's like when several of these authors are in a room together. Are they smiling and chatting, secretly thinking, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, 4 agreements, blah blah blah...my 7 laws were first. Here comes the chicken soup for the soul guy! I should find out who's doing his PR these days." Really.

Some people have amazing gifts. And learning about ourselves any way we can is hugely important. What upsets me is that it has become so commonplace for people to claim 'amazingness' that it is no longer meaningful. It's an unspoken requirement that people claim amazingness in order to attract students/clients. What if you don't believe it's 'amazing' that healing happens? What if healing is the natural result of seeking to be healed? What if the healing is largely a result of meaningful connection? In many cases the New Age falls way short of amazing - it still makes its bread and butter on women trying to find a good man. Oh wait, sorry - they call it seeking the love you deserve, not trying to find a good man. Sexism is alive and well in the New White spirituality, but it's been re-packaged and re-worded to fit your new cosmic profile. Pardon my saying so, but being labeled a 'goddess' is a rather poor substitute for real respect. I say this for a big reason that people hate to hear: women do the self-improving! Women take all those courses! Women do the praying! Women spend their lives on becoming the best person they can be before they die.Women are financing and validating this whole business! Men are usually 15% of any student base. So why are men the highest paid 'teachers', authors, gurus, healers?! Hmmmm, let's think...the highest priced gurus are men, and their clients are mostly women...see a pattern here? Images of churches presided over by men, attended almost exclusively by women come to mind. Yoga schools financed by many talented women but run by men, owned by men... Men writing self-help books (about what women need to do to be happy) that woman buy by the boat load...Turns out all that praying, rearranging the furniture, placing of mirrors, yoga practice, Akashic refiling, taping words to your water bottle doesn't actually fundamentally change your conditioning. What if trusting women turns out to be what we need to do to solve our relationship issues? That is much less glamorous work. Changing conditioning comes from observing how thing are (not the Disney version), absorbing that, and changing behaviour. For women, that won't include acting like a 'goddess' (although it is very funny to see them act that way) or running from yoga to pilates to Whole Foods and back every day. It will not be joyous and fun and liberating to absorb the state of our world - or to stop living in a way that is toxic and disconnected. Change is no walk in the park.


The article about the trial was written by someone who likely was astounded to learn that someone could let themselves be cooked to death in the vain hope of being heated into a successful, lovable, respectable person. But to anyone in the New Age community, it's not surprising that people will mistakenly believe that the more they are willing to 'let go' of (read, the more things you're willing to do even if you don't understand how they work), the higher the subsequent reward could be - should be (must be, according to Oprah and that flake who wrote Eat, Pray, and then Pray to be ME!). In fact I think a lot of New Agers, if asked about the deaths, might say something like, "That was their souls' journey" or the classic, "I'm just so glad I've attracted something better for myself than that." And there was probably some agonizing over cups of Yogi Tea (created by another self-proclaimed guru) and much exclaiming about how this tragedy does not properly represent New Age spirituality. (I sort of wish they'd just go ahead and call it the New White spirituality and get it over with. We're talking about the exact same values.) We need to do some soul searching, my fellow new age professionals, about this - we need to look at this and ask ourselves if it may have happened, in part, due to a general lack of humility. Do we say things to our students and clients that are not really true? Do we make promises we have no way to back up? Do we recognize the difference between being positive and being delusional?

Dying in a sweat lodge run by some white guy claiming to possess native wisdom when clearly he's a yuppie in khaki pants spewing nonsense on Oprah's couch is TOTALLY on the list of possible things that could befall you if you're in enough pain. I've been crazy enough to think about suicide in my youth, and I certainly bought my share of amulets and crystals when my life was just one train wreck after another. I've listened intently to descriptions of how strategically placed crystals could clear up my imbalances, how repeating ancient mantras could create a new groove in my soul deep enough to trump the  broken record of pain I was living, to how prayer and letting go could transform my world from chaos to bright, clean, easy happiness. But the real message here, and this is so key, is that people will almost always tell you the solution is outside yourself, and the more it costs, the more actual value it holds (Deeppockets Chopra, anyone?) I cannot stand this disconnect anymore - just so my friends know clearly which side of the universe I pitch my tent - there is an underlying reality and it is good (water does always seek its own level, pigs do not fly). There is no way to know in advance what will heal you (or harm you). No one can guarantee you healing. Being healed will not make you 'successful' or instantly rich. It will usually be enough reward just to be healed, and people who actually have been healed will be very flexible about the rest (we're happy to be here in the present moment instead of in hell).

That's why the sweat lodge deaths have been on my mind so much - they illustrate perfectly what is going wrong with the New Age, which comprises the yoga community, which is important to me. These folks died because they were bamboozled into thinking they could purchase an express pass to a new self. There is none. No matter how awesome your vision board is, it's still just a cork board. But there are plenty of good methods for real change out there. Yoga is one - pick your teachers carefully and be an alert student, not a follower. Stay away from teachers who tell you who you are, what you are, or what you need. Hang close to people who are curious about what you have to say about yourself, and who are at ease saying "I don't know" when they don't know.